Showing posts with label Femdom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Femdom. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Femdom session...
Well it's that time again, four weeks have passed and lucky me gets an hour of Femdom submission! Mmmm...
To be honest I entered this session convinced that I wasn't going to be allowed to cum and as it turned out that was Mistress R's original intention, but something happened half way through the session and that went out of the window.
I won't bother to relate every detail of the session because they don't vary all that much and I've reported on them in detail before, suffice to say that there was foot worship and face sitting and all that awesome stuff. I was given a whopping 30 paddle strokes (18 and then 12) for my 5 instances of touching - Mistress R is starting to get determined about stopping that it seems!
I was also allowed inside her a few times too, which was absolutely wonderful (her on top - even better!), and Mistress R was saying all the right things about controlling me and stuff, and then, unfortunately, she got a bit carried away and decided to ram this butt plug up my ass. Now I don't get stuff up my ass very often, once a month maximum, and sometimes it's easier than others, but the butt plug (not massive but not tiny either) needs to be inserted gently, preferably after something smaller has paved the way...
Well, to cut a short story short, it fucking hurt and I made it clear that it fucking hurt and we paused the session. She was a bit concerned and worried about hurting me, but after she removed it the pain subsided after about a minute and I was okay to continue. Fortunately the bulk of the session was over by this time as quite a substantial portion of the second half of the session is usually taken up with making her cum.
So she left me alone for a few minutes to relax and then when she came back she had me go down her. It was so nice to go down on her again (no pussy worship since Wednesday - what!!) and I really thought she was going to come in about three minutes! Fortunately I managed to keep her building her pleasure without letting her cum too soon and when she eventually did cum it was after about 20-25 minutes of pussy worship. She came super hard too, which was so good, and then she had me clean her up with my tongue.
Finally she tied me back down on the bed and allowed me to tongue her asshole while she wanked my cock. I think she must've been feeling guilty about hurting me and I was really surprised when she told me to cum while I tongue fucked her ass. I did, and it was great... of course I pretty much realised what had gone on there, and yeah it was a tiny bit disappointing... but at the same time, if Mistress R wanted to make herself feel better about hurting me that's cool, and I understand that. Besides, it was fantastic coming with my tongue in Mistress R's ass, so I really don't have too much to complain about!
So that's three times I've cum in three weeks.... I hope Mistress R starts to think about this two months of chastity she keeps threatening me with.
To be honest I entered this session convinced that I wasn't going to be allowed to cum and as it turned out that was Mistress R's original intention, but something happened half way through the session and that went out of the window.
I won't bother to relate every detail of the session because they don't vary all that much and I've reported on them in detail before, suffice to say that there was foot worship and face sitting and all that awesome stuff. I was given a whopping 30 paddle strokes (18 and then 12) for my 5 instances of touching - Mistress R is starting to get determined about stopping that it seems!
I was also allowed inside her a few times too, which was absolutely wonderful (her on top - even better!), and Mistress R was saying all the right things about controlling me and stuff, and then, unfortunately, she got a bit carried away and decided to ram this butt plug up my ass. Now I don't get stuff up my ass very often, once a month maximum, and sometimes it's easier than others, but the butt plug (not massive but not tiny either) needs to be inserted gently, preferably after something smaller has paved the way...
Well, to cut a short story short, it fucking hurt and I made it clear that it fucking hurt and we paused the session. She was a bit concerned and worried about hurting me, but after she removed it the pain subsided after about a minute and I was okay to continue. Fortunately the bulk of the session was over by this time as quite a substantial portion of the second half of the session is usually taken up with making her cum.
So she left me alone for a few minutes to relax and then when she came back she had me go down her. It was so nice to go down on her again (no pussy worship since Wednesday - what!!) and I really thought she was going to come in about three minutes! Fortunately I managed to keep her building her pleasure without letting her cum too soon and when she eventually did cum it was after about 20-25 minutes of pussy worship. She came super hard too, which was so good, and then she had me clean her up with my tongue.
Finally she tied me back down on the bed and allowed me to tongue her asshole while she wanked my cock. I think she must've been feeling guilty about hurting me and I was really surprised when she told me to cum while I tongue fucked her ass. I did, and it was great... of course I pretty much realised what had gone on there, and yeah it was a tiny bit disappointing... but at the same time, if Mistress R wanted to make herself feel better about hurting me that's cool, and I understand that. Besides, it was fantastic coming with my tongue in Mistress R's ass, so I really don't have too much to complain about!
So that's three times I've cum in three weeks.... I hope Mistress R starts to think about this two months of chastity she keeps threatening me with.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Session tomorrow...
Yep, it's come around again, in about 12 hours I will be at Mistress R's mercy once more! I very much doubt I will be coming though, since it's only a week since I last came, and that was only a week after the one before, but you never know... if that's what Mistress wants!
Today has been cool. When I came out of the shower Mistress grabbed hold of my cock and talked to me about something (no idea what, it might have been what film we should watch later) while she got me hard. Then she took my cock into her mouth for about three seconds and then walked off. Then she came back and stroked me some more, telling me that I would get my treat later for losing another pound this week.
A few hours later she had me sitting on the couch, and knelt between my legs, sucking my cock. Several times she stopped and gave it a few slaps (nice!) and she sucked me and stroked me for about ten minutes I reckon, and then when she'd had enough she kissed me and groaned into my mouth as she could feel my cock throbbing against her stomach... it was hot!
Mistress declined my offer of pussy worship last night as she wants to wait for Sunday, 'like you do' she said. Hmm, a whole four days! Wow, I'm impressed..... hahahahaha.
I can't wait for tomorrow, I just know it's gonna be awesome, even though I'm sure I won't get to cum.
Today has been cool. When I came out of the shower Mistress grabbed hold of my cock and talked to me about something (no idea what, it might have been what film we should watch later) while she got me hard. Then she took my cock into her mouth for about three seconds and then walked off. Then she came back and stroked me some more, telling me that I would get my treat later for losing another pound this week.
A few hours later she had me sitting on the couch, and knelt between my legs, sucking my cock. Several times she stopped and gave it a few slaps (nice!) and she sucked me and stroked me for about ten minutes I reckon, and then when she'd had enough she kissed me and groaned into my mouth as she could feel my cock throbbing against her stomach... it was hot!
Mistress declined my offer of pussy worship last night as she wants to wait for Sunday, 'like you do' she said. Hmm, a whole four days! Wow, I'm impressed..... hahahahaha.
I can't wait for tomorrow, I just know it's gonna be awesome, even though I'm sure I won't get to cum.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
My head is a mess...
I feel like I'm at a HUGE crossroads right now. Things are just getting so fucked up and my mental state is suffering, badly!
We had such a wonderful night last night, and yet the result of that was me feeling like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
My self esteem is non-existent.
I am truly coming to terms with the fact that I worship Mistress R and that is making me blissfully happy, but the flip side of that is that it is making me even more insecure, because I feel like...
Last night in the pub I just felt like she looked so amazing in her shoes, and I should be feeling on top of the world walking in there with her, like yeah, this is my wife, I'm the fucking man!
But I don't.
I feel like... totally insecure about it. Like she looks so much better than me, what the fuck am I doing with someone like that.
She looks so fantastic, that I'm having a problem dealing with the fact that I'm still so overweight.
That's the crux of it. It's not that I consider myself ugly or anything, because I don't at all, in fact I think I look quite alright, or I will do once I've lost the weight. The thing is, I've said this to Mistress R before, when you are overweight and you accept it it doesn't bother you so much.
When you try to do something about it you pay attention to it and, yeah I've lost 16 pounds, but I've got another 50 odd to go, and I hate it. I want it gone NOW. It makes me fucking miserable.
On top of this, I'm not even 100% sure if I want to admit to myself how I am.
Submissive.
I'm not confident in admitting that to myself even though deep down I know it's true. Partly because I don't know if I want Mistress R to think of me like that. I know she knows I am, but I think my submission goes deeper than she understands.
I know she loves me but I don't know if she really wants someone who worships her like I do. You only have to look at her fantasy man list, Clint Eastwood, Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Rock... typical Alpha Males.
I know that sounds totally stupid, but when I met Mistress R I was in really good shape, and just starting to benefit from my weight training and I let it slide.
What makes it worse is my best and pretty much only friend is a total Alpha Male, 6ft and muscly (he looks a bit like Mel Gibson too, bastard!) so the one person I compare myself to is like the epitome of what Mistress R's perfect man would be! It's not that I think that she would cheat on me with him, and I know he wouldn't anyway because I know another one of his friend's wives tried to and he was really fucked off about it and told her in no uncertain terms to piss off. But having that as your best mate is a bit tough when you don't feel good about yourself.
What makes it worse is my best and pretty much only friend is a total Alpha Male, 6ft and muscly (he looks a bit like Mel Gibson too, bastard!) so the one person I compare myself to is like the epitome of what Mistress R's perfect man would be! It's not that I think that she would cheat on me with him, and I know he wouldn't anyway because I know another one of his friend's wives tried to and he was really fucked off about it and told her in no uncertain terms to piss off. But having that as your best mate is a bit tough when you don't feel good about yourself.
And the worse thing is, even though I'm finally starting to get what I've wanted for a long, long time, I seem to be making every possible mistake I can to fuck it up.
I know we are going to have to have a massive talk about all of this tonight because we cannot go on like this.
And I really don't know what the outcome will be. Maybe she will want to ditch the chastity and femdom stuff to try and get things sorted. And I can't say I would blame her. This was all supposed to be about making her feel special, and all it has seemed to do is make things more difficult and fucked up.
Maybe I would be better off trying to be normal and loving my wife without wanting to worship her.
I don't know what I think anymore.
I really don't.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
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